Archive for the Just thinking Category


Posted in Just thinking with tags , on August 25, 2017 by shebatt

I think I have stated on my blog (maybe it was my travel blog), I don’t really believe in ghost but I do believe there is something out there which I have not yet found the scientific explanation for.  With Halloween coming up I thought I would share a ghost story to get everyone ready.

I was raised in a house which had something going on in it which would lead most people to believe in ghosts, I try to remain skeptical about it. But this story is not about a child and her experiences in a haunted house. This story is about an adult who had a share happening with a friend who neither of them can account for today.

While I was in my 20s I had a friend I will call J, who rented the guest house on my sister in laws property. It was a large three bedroom house that sat on the hill side making it so each floor had its own exit that led not to stairs but to the hillside itself. J was not only my pal but good friends with my (ex)husband and his family so it was common for me to be at this house visiting or at my sister in law’s in the main house up the hill from this one.

Just to give you better idea about this house, it is located in Laurel Canyon, in the Hollywood Hills.  Laurel Canyon is known to be a strange place in its own right. My sister in law has told me many stories about how the canyon goes through cycles of months where it is very quite. After these months, out of no where there are multiple fatal accidents in a matter of days and the canyon itself feels different as if everything is at unrest.  Now with my story.

One evening I was over at the rental house hanging out with J.  We were sitting in the living room facing each other sitting on sofas that lined the opposite walls.  The room itself was a long narrow room with the front door at one end and a stairway that was built into the side of the hill at the opposite side of that long room.

The two of us were just chatting. I can’t even remember what it was we were talking about. Considering we both share a love of films, video and photography chances are that is what we were talking about. It was only about 9pm so neither of us were really all that tired.

That is about the time it happened. There was a thud on the front door as if someone had hit it sideways with their fist. Almost as if their hand had glanced off the door as they hit it. It was not loud enough for a real person to have hit it but it was distinctly a thud.

Seconds after the thud I felt pinned down to the sofa I was sitting on, as if something was keeping me from being swept away by the energy that was now sweeping across the room. This energy rushing through felt dark, strong and dangerous. At the time I did not know if it was the pressure of it that was holding me down or something else protecting me. I could feel it rush through the room like a wind had blown the door open and was not causing a gust. But the door remind shut and not a single dust particle was stirring. As a matter of fact for that moment nothing in that room seamed to move at all and time seamed to stand still.

As fast as the energy came in and blew through that room, it just as fast it went up the stairs and out the side door of the house that was attached to the 2nd floor bedroom. In my minds eye it looked like a black scribble of wool which flew by at a break neck speed and I could feel it leave the house as it flew out. What lingered behind was a feeling of golden warmth. Something to this day I can not explain either.

I sat there stunned for a moment and realized where I was and that I was not alone. I slowly looked up and made eye contact with J. I am not sure which of us said it first or if we said it at the same time but “Did you see that?” came out of one of our mouths and we both kind of freaked out at that moment. I think he was trying to be brave for me because he just sat there nonchalant for a few minutes until I finally asked if can we go outside. I needed to get out of that room for a moment. Not because the dark feeling lingered in the room but because I had to be someplace else just for a moment to snap me back into reality. We did not dwell on what had happened and started to talk about something else once we were out of there. I think we both just needed to process what happened.

This occurrence has stuck with us both for years. We have talked about it since and I believe we both took away something different from it. I still can’t say I believe in ghost, demons or the supernatural but I will say again there is something out there that science has yet to explain. That much I know for sure.


Information on Laurel Canyon:,_Los_Angeles


Another Loss

Posted in Just thinking with tags , , , on August 4, 2016 by shebatt

One year and four days after my friend Marcus passed away my ex husband who I had stayed good friends with through the years, had a heart attack and died. It was unexpected and another blow to my soul.

Grief is a strange thing. It comes in waves and sometimes just leaves you numb.Like the song Lament from Ultravox says, The twist in my life starts healing, just to twist again.

I believe the sadness never truly leaves you, you just become stronger around it.

Time to focus on something new and different. Time to focus on next years trip or something positive, that is what helps me get through times like this…

The song link below is something I have not been able to listen to since Marcus died last year but in time maybe in time.


My Life, My Year

Posted in Just thinking with tags , , on July 14, 2016 by shebatt
I am coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of one of my oldest and dearest friends. He and I had been friends for 33 years. It was pointed out to me by another long, long time friend, I knew him longer then I knew my own mother who died when I was only 21. It has not been an easy year and to make matters worst my brother and I have not spoken in the last year either. He hurt my feelings really badly last year and has still not offered an apology and well I have pretty much given up on getting one.

With all of that in mind I still go on and live my life. As you may (or not) know I went to Italy last year in spring and then to Scotland this spring. Traveling is one of the only things that brings me peace. Being someplace new and seeing a part of this world I have not seen yet, feeds my sad soul. It is not that I forget my sorrows it just reminds me there is so much more to life then my personal sorrows. It helps me remember how small my life is compared to the rest of the world. It also reminds me how alone I am on this planet. Not lonely but just alone.

Next year I might not have S to travel with me since her husband is making noise about a family trip, so I am trying to figure out where to go next, possibly alone. Since Jr. high school Peru has called to me and I am considering answering that call. Peru and Bolivia is what I am thinking of, all in one trip. Machu Picchu, Nazca, Lake Titicaca, and Salar de Uyuni (the Bolivian Salt Flats).

Funny but other places calling me are England, France and Turkey. Sure England would be easiest since I speak the language but who know where I will end up next year. I will keep you posted.

I can say this though I hope the coming year is not as sad as the one I just lived.

Living Your Life

Posted in Just thinking with tags , , on April 25, 2016 by shebatt

In three days I leave for my trip to Scotland. Needless to say I am as excited as I am stressed. Of course my car is acting up right before I leave, I don’t have everything packed and work is crazy right now.

Why am I taking the time to write a blog… well I want to be clear about a few things.

First off, let me say I know I am lucky to have the chance to travel but it is not just luck. I have worked long hours and given up a lot of things to make this happen. I do not have cable for my TV and I don’t have internet at home. What do I do for down time you ask, I read.

It is hard to go through life without the media most people have in their lives but at the same time it is very liberating. I have also not gone out and spent money on things like new clothing, shoes, meals out, and so on. It takes discipline in this economic state. Also remember you don’t own your things they own you. With that in mind I never buy things I want, I only buy things I need.

(But) The thing I want to say most in this post, is you don’t need to go across the world to find adventures. You just have to go outside your own front door. Turn off your television and go outside. If you don’t have a camera but a camera phone then try taking some photos. If you don’t even have that that is okay. You don’t need a camera to make memories, just your own mind.

Walk around your own city, learn the history of it, eat at the local food stands. Pretend like you are visiting your own city like you never have seen it before. If you have to, pretend you are doing an episode of your own travel show and explore. Your home town’s history might not be as exciting as San Francisco’s gold rush or as ancient as Athens but it might surprise you.





We are a moment

Posted in Batt Rantts, Just thinking with tags , , on March 28, 2016 by shebatt

Centuries ago primitive man carved stones, struck coins, fashioned pots, forged swords, and created civilization.

It is my belief those of us who collect antiquity do not hold ownership of such things. These things have lived for centuries before us and will possibly live for centuries after we are gone. We come and go, live and die, and passed through our lives as just moments in comparison to these ancient tems. These objects from antiquity really honestly own us. We are just their servants, their caregivers, their pets watching over them as they exist through time. Just like the land we are but a brief moments compared to somewhat eternal life.


Posted in Just thinking with tags , on December 30, 2015 by shebatt

This was written in 2015 at some point but I never finished it. Someday maybe…=

As children we have the ability to dream give us a cardboard box or just a little cubbyhole somewhere in the couch cushions and we lay back and imagine palaces, grand homes or magical places that don’t exist in the real world.

As we grow older our time to dream goes away, our ability to lose ourselves in our imaginations disappears. We start in those happier places as children but when can we point to where we grow old? When do we forget that we dreamed?

I am 50 years old now and I try so hard to think back to those magical time when I was able to let my mind go to places that never existed. I still try to find that place in my heart where only magic exists.



My Mother’s Voice

Posted in Just thinking on December 4, 2015 by shebatt

When I was a little girl my favorite time of year was Christmas. I am sure this is true with a lot of kids. Now as an adult one of my favorite memories is of my mother at Christmas time.

It is not because she would bake endless batches of Christmas cookies, because in truth she did not. She couldn’t bake a boxed cake with out something going wrong. It was not because of the big Christmas dinner she would make and even if she could not bake she could cook like no one else. She was a great cook. Mom did her best at making Christmas a wonderful thing for all of us, in generic American way. We had no special traditions taught to us from Grandparents from the “Old Country” or anything special like that. Just a standard Red and Green store bought Christmas in our house.

What I remember about my mother is more personal and more comical than that and one of the most cherished things in my memory. Mom’s favorite singer was Frank Sinatra and so, of course, we had his Christmas album. Every year we got that tired old scratch piece of vinyl out and played it along with only a small handful of others she owned. When the song “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” would come on, she would sing along with the background singers.

Well for those of you who never had the chance to know my mom she was more vivacious then all of her kids put together, kind as a person could be and had a zany side that is only reviled by my sister Renee (who I will write about sometime soon). But here is the funny part, Mom could Not sing. She was as tone deaf as a brick and when she would start singing along with the LP she would hit every note but the ones they were singing. I remember hearing her do that for the first time as a very young child. I must have turned every shade of red out of embarrassment for her and I know she saw it in my eyes and on my face. She looked at me and smiled with her own cheeks turning a little pink from being caught singing out of key. She said something about her not being able to sing but enjoying doing it. I was too young to clearly remember what she said, I must have been only about 3 or 4 years old. This early exchange between us did not stop her from doing it year after year still out of key and still straight from her heart.

Now, what feels like at least 5 life times later, whenever I hear that song I am taken back to that moment. The one moment in time when my mother and I shared a smile and a Christmas song. I know for a fact it was not my mother’s favorite but it is one of mine, because of her. Now as a grown woman, whenever I hear that song at Christmas time, I hear my mother’s voice singing along. It is as if a little wormhole in time and space opens up and her voice comes ringing though it. It makes me miss her. It makes me wish I could go back in time and sing with her. It makes me yearn to hear her voice once again, whether its singing out of key, yelling for me to get the phone, or talking to us at the dinner table.

For those of you who have lost your mother at some point in your life I am sure you can understand that there is no sound more beautiful than you own mother’s voice.