Understanding Women

With the exception of a few guy friends who truly strive to understand us, when it comes to women most men are really quite stupid.

What brings this statement on now you ask?

(Well) I was having a discussion with a co-worker, a guy, last Friday, who asked me why do female writers make female characters always seam so angry or bitter. I disagreed. He went on trying to man-splane to me how I was wrong. I then gave an example and then another but he would not except them. We really started to get into it and I tried to express my point but each time he would talk over me or try to talk down to my examples and or explanations. So what did I do? I did the same thing to him men have done to women for years. I told him to grow some ovaries and then he might understand. Needless to say this pissed him off. So much so he would not speak to me on Monday.

How is that like what men have done to women for so long? For the countless times we have heard things like, “it’s a guy thing” or worst “grow some balls” or  even worst still, “don’t worry your pretty little head about it”. Then there are the excuses men use to for bad behavior such as “boys will be boys” and “it was just locker room talk”. I call BS on all of those.

I don’t think men realize how stupid they sound when saying things like that. Most don’t realize how smart women really are and that we see right through this kind of crap. It is not penis envy, it is penis pity. What is between my legs does not control what is between my ears.

I have always wanted a t-shirt which says “just because I don’t have a penis does not mean I don’t have a brain”. There are quite a few sayings I have come up with in regards to this. Another example is what I said about what is between my legs. (I think I made both of those up as they are worded but most women have said it in their own ways I am sure)

As far as my co-worker I just had to laugh. I wanted to ask him why he was so mad and bitter at what I said.

Men have oppressed women for centuries and when we finally get a voice they wonder why we are angry? If that does not sound stupid to you then I don’t know what does. It is not just the oppression, it is the taking credit for our work and ideas, and the inability to value what we have to offer with our different points of view and our strengths where they lack.

It is a proven fact we can multi task better than men do, unfortunately they don’t see it. It is hard wired into our brains. If we go back to the hunter gatherers era, women had to multi task while men were single minded. Men had to hunt and focus on their kill. We had a brood of children to watch over. If we were single minded and focused on only one child the rest of them were dead. It is not like a pack of puppies. After a few months puppies are ready to be on their own and the female dog can produce a whole new litter.  We have to be attentive to our offspring for years after they are born. Plus we can bread year after year. One on one breast, one on the other and two trailing behind.

Humans are not able to be independent and live for at least ten years. Heck most people these days still can’t take care of themselves until their thirties, and even then they lack some of the more basic skills, but that is the fault of their parents and society.

I know it is all over social media but I agree when it is stated, “we have produced a few generations now of helpless idiots who can’t even change a tire”.

Personally I can’t sew my own clothing but I can build a house from the ground up and I know how to fix most older cars (pre-computer based cars). I would love to know how to hunt and kill my own food and tan a hide. I am sure I could figure it out if I was cold and hungry enough. I kind of wonder where the cut off point is between surviving for me and well… not….but I am getting off my point.

Men seam more and more to underestimate women and I can see it all the more that we women are just fed up with it.

I really feel like I can go on but I just don’t feel like it. I too am fed up with the male BS in the world.

From Ten Years Ago…

I find it odd that we (as people) are able to jump back into each others lives via an internet site and learn all about people we knew as kids. As the world gets bigger with being able to travel any place we would want with our technology aiding us, the world gets smaller bringing us all back together as if all RSVP’d to a invitation to a home coming of our childhood.

Another Year gone

I just checked in on this blog site and realized it has been a year since my last post. I think it is funny I don’t write more. I love to write. I have short stories, novel sized projects, poems, and songs, all that I work on but I am just so bad about posting here. I think I need to make it my new years resolution to write more to share.

What made me think to even write today was a short story I had written and was thinking about posting it. I jumped over to my blog and realized it was last year on my birthday that I last posted. Between ignoring this blog and my travel blog it is no wonder I don’t have very many readers.

I can say it has been a very busy year. I did not go anywhere in Europe this year but I did go to Long Beach, California in April. My sisters, brother, their families and I all got together to spread my father’s ashes and say good by to him. It was difficult for all of us to say the least.

Then in October my sister and I bought a town house. We will not be living in it since it is in Henderson Nevada and we live in the (SF) bay area. It is to help us gain equity and maybe a little extra cash for us to buy another.

That is about the extent of excitement in my life these days.

 

 

 

Very Early Christmas Memory

When I was about 5 years old Christmas was still a source of magic and wonder to me but my little mind still tried to understand things that were just not logical to me.

I remember as a small child going to the (Fallbroock) mall with my mom, I believe my sister Danielle and grandmother were with us also. While at the mall we saw Santa Claus visiting with the children and getting his photo taken with them.

Fallbrook Square in the 1970’s. Photo taken from internet since I don’t have one personally.

 

 

 

From there we went to another mall (Topanga plaza), where Santa Claus was there also getting his photo taken with all the kids. I remember thinking that there was something odd about how he was now here, where we were but had been at the other mall just minutes before.

Inside Topanga Plaza 1970s. Photo taken from internet since I don’t have one personally.

I finally asked my mom “How is Santa here when he was just at the other mall?” Her response was to my child mind logical enough. “He came over here after seeing all the kids there. Now he is here at this mall in order to give every one a chance to tell him what they want for Christmas.” Okay fair enough it sounded reasonable in my kid like mind. Although I did not understand why people just did not drive their kids over to the other mall and save Santa the trouble.

Then I thought about how fast we had gone from one mall to the other found parking and went inside to see Santa there when he was just at the other mall talking to the kids waiting in the long line to see him.

I remember asking my mom. How did he get here so fast even though he still had a long line of kids to see at the other store?

My mother’s response did stop me from asking more questions but it also left me wondering why I did not see this happening and feeling quite disappointed in missing this sight. Her reply was “He has very fast reindeer”.

From that day until Christmas I watched the sky hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa flying from one mall to another or from the mall to the north poll or just seeing him flying out and about before Christmas. Needless to say, I never did.

Modern Man

You work day and night not seeing your family around you, wanting and waiting to spend time with you.

You can not buy back lost moments.

You manipulate the market ruining men who are just trying to make it in the world trying to survive.

You can not buy back their lives.

You disregard the climate to sell your fuels which poison the air and water changing the face of the world.

You can not buy back the balance.

You are callous to those in pain, causing trauma through rape and the eradication of human rights.

You can not buy back their innocence.

You make war on others for profit and power, destroying culture, and families leaving only rubble behind.

You can not buy back their history.

You don’t care how much destruction your selfish grab for desire and greed has blackened your life.

You can not buy back your soul.

The Dreams of a Sleeping Dragon

I am feeling very sentimental today. Nostalgia is bleeding through from a dream I had last night. (In the dream) I was traveling and staying in a strange underground bunker of some kind. It was very cool with high ceilings, and well decorated. In retrospect now that I am thinking about it, it kind of reminds me of V’s underground lair in the film V for vendetta. It had that kind of feel to it. There was an alcove with a high arched ceiling and bed in the alcove and that is where I was sleeping. I remember waking up and looking up. Someone had done a cut-out collage art piece to look like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the arch above me. The images were 

all black and white like they had used news paper clippings to make it. The details were beautiful and surreal all at the same time.

The part of my dream which is leaving me feel so maudlin today is at some point in my dream an old friend of mine (a guy who was once my everyday friend who hung with me as much as our free time would let us) was there. He came to me in my dream and curled up with me while I was laying down and just hugged me. He held me like he was protecting me from, well from what I don’t know. (But) It was wonderful. I have not felt that safe in years.

Don’t get me wrong it is not that I don’t feel safe in my life or in myself, because I do. I am a strong woman who has gone through hell in one way or another and I have survived. I am not a white knight who slays dragons nor am I a princess. I am the dragon, strong, fierce, and beautiful. But inside this dragon is just the heart of a girl. One who gets lost and frighten sometimes. One who would give anything to have a knight in her life to come and hold her and make her feel like everything is going to be okay. Because sometimes even the strongest of dragons need to be protected while they sleep and believe me fighting as we dragons do, it gets tiring.

The most ironic part of all of this is that the person who came to me in my dream has never once realized how soft I am or never once seen me as the damsel. If he only truly knew. At least I don’t think he has. He has even told me in the past how he views me. He once called me Freya.

It has always honored me and exhausted me, living up to his view of me. It is not that I have lied to him or just shown him that side of me to hide the truth. It is because I have always strove to be that person. Not a lie, or a mask but a goal. He makes me want to be my very best.

This person, this friend now lives about 400 miles south of me and we rarely get to see each other, we rarely get to speak to each other. When do we do though it is like no time has passed between us, you know the type of friend I am talking about. We pick up right where we left off. He is one of the few friends in my life I will always love with the deepest truest love I can give.

Dreaming of him last night has made me miss him profoundly and making me wish I could see him again. In the mean time this dragon keeps going, living life and dreaming dreams.

This is a test

Hi all reading this I am testing to see if my blog is now linked to my facebook page.

Grateful

Today I am reminded to be grateful for all the wonderful things I have.

I am grateful I am not living in a war torn area where I don’t know if my family is still alive or not. I don’t have to worry about the water I drink killing me, and I have food on my table enough to share. I have more than one pair of pants and shirt to put on my body and even a warm coat and warm shoes to keep my feet dry.

I don’t have a great home with a big yard for a dog but I have a safe place to sleep at night and a roof over my head that does not leak. It has heat and running water and a working toilet.

I don’t have a career that pays me over 100K a year but I do have a good job that allows me to save enough to travel once a year. I do have to give up things like cable tv and internet at home but why waist money to waist time? Oh and I really like my job and my boss and I get along really well.

I don’t have the love of my life which is a empty space I am aware of more than I should be. But I have people who care about me, family who loves me for being me, and friends who I hope I have made a difference in their lives by being here.

I have both my eyes even through they are getting old and my glasses are a hassle. But I can still take photos and can paint now and again. I have both my ears to hear all the wonderful music out there to inspire my soul.

But the thing I am even more grateful for is my heart, mind and compassion to see all of this.

Me Too

 

As all of you may know there was an awareness campaign going on asking women to write Me Too on your wall to state if you have been sexually harassed or assaulted.
I think the importance of this is/was over due and understated. I also like the post I read about how we talk about this girl was assaulted or that girl was harassed. What we don’t talk about often enough is how that boy did this or that man did that. Accountability people.

This post is not about that. This post is sharing how I once (one of hundreds) dealt with harassment while trying to keep my job.

I was waiting tables at a corporate owned chain years ago. Our location had a high volume of costumers who were very stingy and very picky. This made our location a great place for training new managers for other locations.

There was a few months where we had two new manager trainees and a man a third trainee who had just purchased one of the restaurants as a franchise and was being trained at our restaurant in the corporate procedures. The three men were sitting at one of the tables right in the main part of the restaurant where they could see all the goings on while they were studying their hand books. One of the men who was training was kind of a pig and made all the waitresses feel uncomfortable when he was around. Non of us trusted him. This was the man I had the bad encounter with. He was sitting at the table with the other two one afternoon after the lunch rush. Things were starting to slow down and all of us were trying to wrap things up. I walked by the table at one point on my way to the kitchen to put and order in. As I walked pass this guy looked up at me and asked me how to spell breast. Shocked and a little taken back I quickly looked at the other two sitting at the table and said “B” pause… UTT HEAD and I walked away. Later the man who was training to run his own restaurant came up to me and told me if I ever wanted a job at his restaurant he would hire me in a minuet. He said I handled myself with such grace that he and the other manager in training were just shocked and impressed at my response. He also said that he and the other man at the table both knew what the third guy did was wrong but both of them were also so shocked they did not know how to react when I was asked. To this day I wonder if the guy who asked me last long in that corporation or if he was fired for sexual harassment.

Ghosts

I think I have stated on my blog (maybe it was my travel blog), I don’t really believe in ghost but I do believe there is something out there which I have not yet found the scientific explanation for.  With Halloween coming up I thought I would share a ghost story to get everyone ready.

I was raised in a house which had something going on in it which would lead most people to believe in ghosts, I try to remain skeptical about it. But this story is not about a child and her experiences in a haunted house. This story is about an adult who had a shared happening with a friend who neither of them can account for today.

While I was in my 20s I had a friend I will call J, who rented the guest house on my sister in laws property. It was a large three bedroom house that sat on the hill side making it so each floor had its own exit that led not to stairs but to the hillside itself. J was not only my pal but good friends with my (ex)husband and his family so it was common for me to be at this house visiting or at my sister in law’s in the main house up the hill from this one.

Just to give you better idea about this house, it is located in Laurel Canyon, in the Hollywood Hills.  Laurel Canyon is known to be a strange place in its own right. My sister in law has told me many stories about how the canyon goes through cycles of months where it is very quite. After these months, out of no where there are multiple fatal accidents in a matter of days and the canyon itself feels different as if everything is at unrest.  Now with my story.

One evening I was over at the rental house hanging out with J.  We were sitting in the living room facing each other sitting on sofas that lined the opposite walls.  The room itself was a long narrow room with the front door at one end and a stairway that was built into the side of the hill at the opposite side of that long room.

The two of us were just chatting. I can’t even remember what it was we were talking about. Considering we both share a love of films, video and photography chances are that is what we were talking about. It was only about 9pm so neither of us were really all that tired.

That is about the time it happened. There was a thud on the front door as if someone had hit it sideways with their fist. Almost as if their hand had glanced off the door as they hit it. It was not loud enough for a real person to have hit it but it was distinctly a thud.

Seconds after the thud I felt pinned down to the sofa I was sitting on, as if something was keeping me from being swept away by the energy that was now sweeping across the room. This energy rushing through felt dark, strong and dangerous. At the time I did not know if it was the pressure of it that was holding me down or something else protecting me. I could feel it rush through the room like a wind had blown the door open and was not causing a gust. But the door remind shut and not a single dust particle was stirring. As a matter of fact for that moment nothing in that room seamed to move at all and time seamed to stand still.

As fast as the energy came in and blew through that room, it just as fast it went up the stairs and out the side door of the house that was attached to the 2nd floor bedroom. In my minds eye it looked like a black scribble of wool which flew by at a break neck speed and I could feel it leave the house as it flew out. What lingered behind was a feeling of golden warmth. Something to this day I can not explain either.

I sat there stunned for a moment and realized where I was and that I was not alone. I slowly looked up and made eye contact with J. I am not sure which of us said it first or if we said it at the same time but “Did you see that?” came out of one of our mouths and we both kind of freaked out at that moment. I think he was trying to be brave for me because he just sat there nonchalant for a few minutes until I finally asked if can we go outside. I needed to get out of that room for a moment. Not because the dark feeling lingered in the room but because I had to be someplace else just for a moment to snap me back into reality. We did not dwell on what had happened and started to talk about something else once we were out of there. I think we both just needed to process what happened.

This occurrence has stuck with us both for years. We have talked about it since and I believe we both took away something different from it. I still can’t say I believe in ghost, demons or the supernatural but I will say again there is something out there that science has yet to explain. That much I know for sure.

 

Information on Laurel Canyon:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurel_Canyon,_Los_Angeles